If you want to hear the most awful hold music available on the planet, dial up your favorite computer hardware or software vendor, use your apache tracking skills to negotiate the phone maze until you are finally on hold for a live person (you hope!).
Today it was Trend Micro’s turn to get called. Call right when they open, it doesn’t matter, all technicians are already busy helping someone else.
Is the horrible hold music designed to get you to hang up and go away? I finally recognized the raucous cacophony to be a Spanish guitar version of Don McLean’s American Pie.
The other day I forced myself to call Fortinet’s tech support again. They have had the same awful hold music for years. In fact, it isn’t even really music, just computer generated tones, I think.
Of course, all the while your are on hold you are being told:
- You called at a bad time (your fault); but we won’t tell you when a good time is.
- Your call is important to us; yep, and the check’s in the mail too.
- You really should get your answers from our useless knowledge base on our impossible to navigate website, that way the few foreigners employed as “engineers” can do something more important than talking to you – like go pray at the temple.
Well, I would write more, but the tortured ding dong rendition of Billy Joel’s Just the Way You Are is interfering with my normal brainwaves…I think I’m unable to continue…ahhh
